the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
