You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
