i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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