Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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