I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
