Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
