I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
