If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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