I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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