Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
