The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
