im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
