is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
