yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
