4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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