dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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