then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I love black thongs
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
