I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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