So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize