It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
