Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I fill condoms, not promises.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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