Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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