I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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