Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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