i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
