Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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