I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
