everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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