I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize