I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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