i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
