I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so let's talk penis.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
