the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
