can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
