Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
