May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
vagina is talking i cant
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
