I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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