I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
