In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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