Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
