we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
