I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
