If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
