Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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