have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
