I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
