Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
