covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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