did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
