just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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