I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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