just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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