White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
