If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
