ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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