I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
