look no pants
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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