i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my being single is dangerous.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
