Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
