the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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