I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
