Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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