i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
